My Family aka The Village

My Family aka The Village

With more than half of marriages ending in divorce you are seeing more “Mine, Your, and Ours” type families or better known as a “Modern Family”. We here are no different we have a modern family.

I was divorced in 2006 and was remarried in 2008 to man that did not have any children so my transition was much more smoother my children really liked my current husband and he fell in love with them as well. My current husband is a very laid back don't get stressed out about things and a really easy to get along with kinda of guy.

So I just assumed it would be easy for my ex to move on and find happiness but boy was I wrong my ex who met and fell in love with someone that had four children had the complications of the children getting along with each other not sure if it was the green eye monster that appeared but I can tell you it has been a struggle and I feel for them both.

It's hard when you have to decide that your marriage is over and what that will mean to your children's future and deep down all you wish for is that your family will come out OK in the end. My ex and I have a great relationship now, it started out because we were always told we need to be for the sake of our children and then as the years passed and we learned to let go of the past we began to be friends again we built back our relationship based on friendship not just because of the children.

This year was big changes for my children, their father moved in with his girlfriend and her children and it has not been an easy transition. Most people would think that it would be the hardest for the adults to co parent but in my family its seems to be the children not being able to play well in the sand box with each other.

So how does a mother help her children move on when the parents have moved on? This is a question that I have been asking myself more times then I would like to admit, I want my ex to be happy because I believe in my heart that in the long run that will make my children happy.

This year we the parents have tried to accommodate all the children and their feelings but I am starting to think after spending Christmas the way the children wanted it we as parents might be doing more harm then good. I mean if we are always walking on egg shells and accommodating them how will they ever learn to play well with each other?

So this Mom is going to set a good example by getting along with everyone but I am no longer going to be so accommodating in 2014, I mean we as parents have to teach our children no matter what age our children are right? What kind of parent would I be if I allow my children to act this way and accept that they will always be accommodated in this world?

So I encourage you if you are facing a “Modern Family” situation that you first work on your relationship with your ex, be open to a relationship with their new partner, and work together to get your children on board with a blended family because the sooner you do this step the happier everyone will be.

Urban Girl With A Country Heart

Goodbye 2013

This is the last week of 2013, and like most I am sitting here reflecting back on my year. Most of us reflect back on a year to so that we can be grateful for what we have or the lessons we learned and I guess I am no different. I think it's actually healthy to reflect back it's good for the soul.

I thought I would take a few minutes to reflect back share with you.

1. I maintained my work at home job by the skin of my teeth. I love my job but I have always had issues with attendance but by the grace of God I was able to make it for a whole year. Jason had some issues with employment but he maintained his work at home job and went back to an old faithful job at the newspaper.

2. I welcomed new friendships and maintained old ones. Some are local and some are on social media. Friendships come in many forms and I enjoy all the support that I get from all my friends near and far.

3. I welcomed a new family member my nephew John Garrett and we said goodbye to some loved ones on my Mother's side. There is something to be said when a new life comes in this world it seems there is so much hope for our future then there is something to be said when an elder passes away, they take away all that wisdom that this generation will never truly know.

4. Kiddo had many first this year, she is growing into a very sweet young lady turning 14, my oh my where did the time go. She is now in the 7^th grade and going to dances, having a boyfriend, being a very active pre teen. I am so grateful for God bringing her in my life. She teaches me so many things each and every day.

5. My older children had big changes this year, they moved out each into their own apartments. I know there is a lesson for me to learn here which is letting go and letting them grow up and all I can say to this is I am trying.

6. In 2013, I started paying more attention to the political world and all the happenings that are going on in this country. My eyes have been opened for sure.

7. Also, a goal I was working on this year is out with the un-used this has been a goal that I have not been able to complete but will continue in 2014

8. I am grateful for the blessing of learning how to use coupons this year, this have been a real money saver for my family.

All in all 2013 was a good year for me to learn new things I encourage each and everyone of you to reflect back on your 2013 so that you can be grateful for the lessons you learned and the blessings you have.

Urban Girl With A Country Heart